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Friday 1 June 2012

Mastering 'Eye Contact'

Good eye contact helps one succeed in nearly every type of social interactions one could engage in - from business to family relations. Your eyes are a reliable indicator of how you are actually feeling inside - Sad, Happy, Shy, Joyful or Nervous. If you are feeling any of them, your eyes will show it.

You can get over from your fear and discomfort around eye contact in several following manageable ways:-


  • Making lengthy eye contact with a a friend or family member:- Find a friend or a family member who is somewhat open-minded and explain that you want to improve your eye contact. Once you have got your friend on board, sit across from each other preferably on the floor. Practice looking at your friend's eye from one second to three minutes intermittently but do not try to look at both eyes at once.

    Keep a neutral facial expression with a soften and warmer focus. Relax and be sure to take deep breathe throughout your exercise. Notice whatever thoughts arise while you are looking at your friend's family member's eyes.

  • Making brief eye contact with strangers:- Here you have to make a fraction of second's worth of eye contact while passing strangers and definitely not long enough. Just see eye color and look away.

    Don't start eye contact too far away. If you make eye contact with someone walking by your on your left side, break your eye contact by looking straight ahead not by looking down.

  • Making longer Eye Contact:- So long as you do your eye contact in a respectful and friendly way, there is absolutely nothing with "practising" eye contact with waiters, salespersons, cashiers and other paid service people. If you do it with the right intention to establish a real human connections with someone you are interacting with, it will brighten that person's life in what is otherwise probably a challenging or dull workday.

    And one aspect of learning about eye contact is learning to deal with rejections comfortably.
  • Making substantial eye contact with friends and family members:- Here you have to increase the eye contact next time you are talking with a friend, family member or your colleague.
  • Eye contact in casual conversation with friends and family members is a delicate dance. To ease into this eye dance you should know some of the following important factors of 'psychological space' like (i) whether the other person is facing you (ii) whether your attention is on the other person (iii) whether the other person is talking about something relevant to you (iv) whether the other person is making physical contact with you & (v) whether the other person is making eye contact with you.
  • Making substantial eye contact with people just met:- This final step you have to follow with the people you meet at cocktail parties, conferences, business events, birthday parties, dinner parties and other kind of event by making substantial contact keeping in view the 'psychological space', mentioned above.

You will be amazed at the feeling of connection, sharing, and trust you are quickly able to develop with loved ones and strangers alike through sharing eye contact.